7:45 a.m. - 2006-03-19
i remember getting in bed and thinking \"this is going to be comfortable. ill stay up all night on the laptop like i used to\"
i just woke up. i was so angry when i realized that i went to sleep.
i got home, rather drunk. i set down my phone, cigarettes, lighter, water bottle and medication beside me on my bed.
i changed my msn name to something strange that i dont even understand. it was "you think it still worked but its really only 51 am".
92 hours. i woke up for the first time since wednesday at 6am. if i didnt sleep i would have taken more, then i wouldnt be so hungry or i wouldnt be shaking so badly.
i havent eaten in 122 hours. when i say that- im pretty straight up about it.
i had one cookie the other day cause i felt dizzy and a little faint.
the lights in my room are on. my bed room door is open. im in my clothes under the covers. my wallet is still in my back pocket. i didnt even stand a fucking chance.
i should probably go play with my penis while i still can. before i take the meds again at least.
