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3:20 a.m. - 2005-11-11
last weeks munchie satisfier- is this weeks mouldy heap of shit in my shower.
earlier, i called my roomates and said:

"i will clean the entire fucking house, wash the walls, vacume, even put the fucking pictures up- if you guys will just do all of the dishes before you go out."

they responded:

"yeah man thats dope"

i replied:

"alright, just get crackin on the dishes"

they ended it by saying:

"yeah dont worry it will be chill"

* * * * *

i walked into my house. i saw brett and denis sitting on the couch, toasted.

i walked by the kitchen and realized that there were no dishes in the sink. i thought to myself "DOPE!".

i walked downstairs to find my roomates. there they were, toasted.

before i could say anything, kyle said "dude, you have to see your bath tub!"

i was unsure why i would have to go look at my bath tub, but i knew it was something i should check out.

there- in MY bath tub, soaking in dish soap...
-8 large plates
-8 small plates
-4 large bowls
-6 small bowls
-3 frying pans
-2 baking sheets
-1 medium sized pot
-1 cutting board
-1 strainer
-6 pint glasses
-5 tall drink glasses
-6 short drink glasses
-6 coffee mugs
-8 forks
-10 butter knives (two of which were used to smoke oil. leaving the knives discoloured and caked with oil)
-2 steak knives
-8 spoons
-1 whisk
-1 chefs knife
-8 tupper-ware containers and their lids
-2 DISPOSIBLE shot glasses
-1 can oppener
-3 ice trays
-1 cheese grater

i know what youre thinking- "thats not bad for a bath tub full of dishes".

but wait- it gets better...

every single dish has been used as an ash-tray, a garbage can, still has food, drink or microcultures of bacteria growing in them. some were a combination of all 3.

i said "youre an idiot. this wont work" he said "dude, they have to soak!"

when i thought about my curent living situation, the shock of what was happening slowly faded away.

i said "well get cracking on scrubing them and putting them away so i can clean the rest of the house"

he spoke to me as if the words comming out of his mouth were acceptable... "well im going out tonight."

now the shock factor had completely disapeard. all i felt now was anger.

"you cant leave all this shit in my shower! why didnt you do it in your shower?" i asked a question even though i already knew the anwser. it wasent the anwser he gave me. he said "its closer to the kitchen" but the real reason is that he is inconsiderate. he agreed to do the dishes before he left the house. he didnt, instead he smoked pot. he could have put them in his shower. it wouldnt have bothered me- i dont eat often- or atleast at home, therefore the issue of not having any clean dishes... wouldnt be an issue.

so here i am again. on speed. cleaning and stocking every dish we have in our house. mind you i only used 4 of the dishes in question. i made dinner for two of my lovely lady friends. using the pot, a frying pan and 2 plates. they drank bottled water (as do i, when home). the 4 items that i used that night- were already dirty. i had to clean them by hand before i could serve the girls dinner.

its now 3:52am.
-the living room is as tidy as it has every been.
-the tables has been scrubbed down.
-the movies are in order.
-there is no clutter or clothes laying around.
-all the walls have been washed (they were recently covered in different colours of halloween paint and fake blood... and real blood).
-the kitchen counter tops are clean enough to eat off of.
-the garbage isnt stacked in the corner of the kitchen- its outside.
-all of the recyclables are empty and in garbage bags, instead of half full and scattered about the house.
-the room once known as "menace's nook" is ready to transform into a computer-only-room.
-the uncarpeted floors have been swiffered (with wetjet technology). now you dont need to wear shoes in the kitchen/every where else.

i even set up a shelf in my bedroom. now there is a place for me to put my white t-shirts, band shirts, pajama pants, and towels. i also organized my socks and undies into 2 separate baskets under the shelf. i hung up all the clothes which were previously coving the floor of my entire room.

i wanted to vacume so badly, but our vacume is very loud- so after 11:00pm i decided that it would be inconsiderate of me to the neighbors and that the vacuming would have to wait until tomorrow.

at the moment, i have to figure out a way to remove the hundreds of cigarette- butts and soggy macaronni noodles from my shower.

i already decided that i would stay up all night cleaning, go to my parents house at 7am, watch a copy of last nights OC- while i dry my freshly washed clothes in their dryer. get a ride to work at 8:30am. i have to be there to open the bottom end of the line at 10am, but the prep team always needs help, its good to show initiative and i could be moving slower than usual and may need a half hour extra to open the bottom end of the kitchen.

well, as much as i enjoyed telling you about my obsessive-compulsive-cleaning-attack night. i should get back to the cleaning and organizing that needs to be done before i leave the house in 3 hours.

p.s.
-i cut part of my left index finger off while shaving cilantro at work today.
-i hung out with jasmine, zoya, denis and mitch. it was fun. they watched "seven" while i cleaned, then we all drove downtown to pick my sister and her friend up from the bar.

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