7:49 p.m. - 2005-06-08
my body, my mind, my heart, my hard nipples.
i am completely fucking serious when i say that i think i might have aids. or a sinus infection.
my throat is scratchy and feels like it is swelling up
i have been the coldest i have ever been in my whole life. i seriously have been keeping goose bumps in the hot tub and steem room.
my neck, knees, knuckles, shoulders and elbows hurt so badly when i try to move them.
i have been getting nuts headaches and head rushes that make me loose my sight for a few seconds when ever i stand up.
it feels there is something at the back of my nose/throat. i cant get rid of it no matter how hard i try to hork.
i have sick brusies from when janey hit my arm on saturday night (which have been getting worse daily)
my ears ache like they did when i had a middle ear infection.
my rib cage has shrunken dramatically in circumfrance. i have wanted this to happen for a year or so- but i didnt think it would be this painful.
even after taking 50mg of dexadrine by noon- i have no energy.
i weigh 147 lbs now and my size 4 pants dont even need to stretch at the waist.
since sunday afternoon- i have only consumed 3 mild chicken wings, 2 mini kit-kat bars, 1 bag of fruit snacks and 6 rasberries. oh i forgot about the steak sandwich last night. but thats it.
i havent had a single drink since saturday night because this is the most depressed i have ever been before.
