5:26 a.m. - 2005-01-30
Get Known/ \"mom, spoon EGG!\"/ carly and i are the same person. long dex enduced thought map.
i love julia. i love alexis. i love justine. fuck colleen. i love lisa. holly is ok. i love janey. steph is dumb. i love carly. i love anna. i love shylah. i love brittany.
the last few days have been great ones.
wednesday was fun and a sleepover.
thursday was a top secret and fun and a sleep over.
friday felt like it did before.
today- well... ill tell you about today.
my parents saw my ears and then proceeded to call me a faggot in various ways. wearing a tna hoodie didnt help my argument that i am straight, but fuck it is a comfortable hoodie.
the show was a whole lot of fun for me. others were having a pretty shitty night which was a little sad, but i was just so happy when we got to the venue. the ghost cried murder was really fun. X403TBNX had some fun. some of the older guys made me want to hit them. we were just having some fun, but they were making it seem like we were taking over their lives. i couldnt believe how split some peoples personalities really are. they are acting like tuffies who's shit doesnt stink when theyre in the pit- then you see them outside or anywhere and they pretend like their hearts are filled with nothing but love.
I was being so weird all night- but in a good way. not nervous at all. pretty nice. id like to think i was kinda charming and i know i made some people smile. i talk to everyone i could. well actually i could have talked to more, but there are some people that i had only met once or so- then decided i never want to know them better.
after the show we loaded up and went to marcellas. it was nice. relaxing. then i drank some water and hit the streets with the boiz and the cammera. i honestly dont know if i can dance at all. thought i did try tonight. people talk about how easy a two step is- which makes me more scared to try. if i cant do it right or have poor style during the move- i will look like an ass. i will have to practice in the shower more. i went back to marcellas. brett gave me my royal tenenbaums dvd and i was very happy. i made 3 trips (back and forth, back and forth, back and peace) which took up about 2.5 hours and i was only at marcellas for about 0.75 hours. t.wills blake denis and i just rolled around until about 4:30 and then went our separate ways.
my laptop is not working (this time i didnt even hit it) so i have been sitting here just thinking about a song i want to hear on my laptop. i wish i could pretend to sleep in my bed. with music and a quiet keyboard. this one is loud.
tonight i talked with corey brown and kris stuart about seattle. i committed to driving up with them (also alex slaughter and 2 friends of coreys) in my moms van. its the cheepest option and will probably be pretty fun. now i just have to convince my mom to let me take her van for 2 or 3 day plus miss a day of school. shit. remembering never.
i didnt think this was going to be so long. sorry. i just have nothing to do so im writting anything that pops into my head.
at the show i talked to alot of kids that id never really seen before, but i guess they were scene before. i think i am a local celeb or something. i dont think everyone likes me, but i do think that most know me- like come on, i was in a girls dream. i know it was only an aquointances dream- but they really should name a city "billydelphia".
jim madden is the og403tbn. respect to the man with the plan.
gerri man i miss you and know that i have been a dick about stuff.
all my friends- stop littering in places that i have to clean. my house. car. my parents car. if you see me throw a wrapper or something on the ground in my car- dont fucking do the same thing. i throw my shit out when i get home. i dont drive you around so that i can clean up your shit. dont think i should have a place for your garbage in my car. its not my responsibility to make sure you have a place to put your gum wrapper in my car.
i dont mind driving people anywhere. if i like you AT ALL and offor a ride that you need- dont refuse. youre not doing me any fucking favors by pretending that you really would rather bus it or call your parents. if i spend a whole day with you, hanging out and what not, then i drive you home at night- do not fucking say "thanks for the ride". im not a taxi. go ahead and thank my parents for paying for the gas. get mannors. i love you guys but you have no fucking respect sometimes.
if i can make one point out of all this shit, it is: if youre a cute girl that i offer a ride to- take it. you actually are not helping me AT ALL when you say "oh no, its ok, dont worry about it, you drive me too much". im the fucking driver. if i think its too much, ill be the one to say and i wont be the one to offer the ride. dont try to do me favors. be honest. you know you want the ride. im not offering it just so you think i am nice. if i wanted you to think i was nice, i wouldnt be using a car to do it. im offering you the ride so you can get the fuck home when you want to be at your fucking home.
ooook, im still i pretty good mood. wish my parents were still in lake louise and not in their bedroom with the door open (so they could hear me come in- which they didnt). then maybe i wouldnt be sitting here in silence. maybe id be in the hot tub or not home or drunk or anything but pretending i am ghost.
denis and danny are comming to grandin on monday. as students. my boiz. my school. this will be fun.
here are some pictures from the latest-greatest days of my life.
still love the sky.
three hung over girls that i love.
2 hung over girls that i love.
1 stylish girl that i love.
anna dancing her big heart out, in a tutu.
i think anna is singing a transplants song. we soon after wrote "punx" on our nuckles.
cant stop her when shes got those dancin shoes on.
she stopped and then tonight she said she did again.
